Insomnia strikes again. Just like after my first 36 hour fast, I couldn’t go to bed last night because sleep completely evaded me. It hasn’t really happened to me since the first time I fasted so I thought it was a one off thing. Clearly, I can’t dismiss this consequence of IF.
I had a gym class booked for 6.30 am, but at 2.30 am I cancelled my attendance after hours of tossing and turning in bed. I finally managed to get between two and three hours of intermittent sleep, not the most ideal way to start the week.
Day 1: Not fasting
Contrary to my other Mondays, I started the week with a feasting day. I fully intended to be good and on plan with my macros, but I’m afraid I couldn’t resist a bag of crisps – it had my name written all over it, as well as 3 teaspoons of peanut butter. This is all on top of my 2,000 kcal meal plan. I feel so guilty when I deviate from my plan, it really haunts me. The most troubling thought is that since I know I will go over my calorie and carb allowances, I might as well stop tracking my macros for the day and give up. I have such a black/white mentality, as soon as the line is crossed, it’s game over.
The idea was to have another normal eating day the next day, but seeing how bloated and horrible I felt after Monday, I think fasting is the way forward..!
Calories eaten: 2501
Fat: 155 grams
Protein: 76 grams
Net carbs: 113 grams
Day 2: Fasting 24 hours
I attended a conference on Tuesday, and after seeing the food that was on offer, I happily fasted all day. The schedule was busy with back-to-back presentations from 8am to 6pm (!) which left little time to even think about food. When everyone else had lunch, I caught up with my work emails and got lots done.
It was no wonder therefore, that by the time we finished I was slightly euphoric due to the fun day I left behind and the fact I had successfully fasted all day; so I decided to treat myself a naked pub burger with 2 glasses of wine. It was delish.
The problem was, I didn’t want to stop eating. After the pub, I got home and raided the kitchen. I must have had 1,000 kcal worth of mixed nuts, cheese, and cold cuts in under 15 mins. It was gross, I felt so sick. Assessing the situation later, my total caloric intake for the evening was well over 2,000 – undoing a lot of the fasting from the day. Why do I do this? Why do I binge eat knowing how much I’ll regret it?
Calories eaten: 2654
Fat: 208 grams
Protein: 84 grams
Net carbs: 60 grams
Day 3: Fasting 20 hours
Second day of conference. After my performance the night before, I decided to fast the whole day again to allow the food to be digested properly, and to have only one meal (OMAD), dinner. I had finished my binge at 10pm the night before, so I decided to wait until 6pm to have dinner. I felt no hunger whatsoever during the whole day (it was an insane amount of food I ate..!). I was determined to not make the same mistake again at dinner, so instead what I did was to carefully plan what I’d eat (no different to the night before), but what would be different, was that I’d close my eating window immediately after dinner.
This strategy proved successful, as it took away the option of continuing to eat as I had done the night before. I was also very conscious of how bad I had felt after my binge as it was fresh on my mind, so it was a bit easier to avoid the eating trap.
Calories eaten: 1118
Fat: 66 grams
Protein: 40 grams
Net carbs: 25 grams
Day 4: Not fasting
I didn’t technically fast, since for breakfast I had a bulletproof coffee. I’ve been hearing lots about this and the multiple health benefits associated to it and so decided to give it a try. What it is, is essentially, black coffee, grass-fed butter, and MCT oil blended together. It’s quite yummy to be honest. I gave solid food a skip, nevertheless.
I weighed myself at the gym, and to my great disappointment I had put on weight despite fasting multiple times. I know I had a “bad” week away, but I had certainly expected to have gone back down to 88 kg where I was the week before my naughty week. Instead, the scale stood at 90 kg. I felt my heart sink. I felt like screaming. How was it possible? I keep seeing all these posts
Calories eaten: 1217
Fat: 95 grams
Protein: 69 grams
Net carbs: 22 grams
Days 5 through 7: Some fasting
I fasted in the mornings during the remainder of the week, with eating windows alternating between 2 and 8 hours. With a friend visiting over the weekend, I wasn’t counting my macros or my anythings, instead, I enjoyed the feasting with all my being. I’m still proud to have done some fasting in between so I don’t feel too guilty (although certainly bloated..!).
I still feel quite disheartened by my previous week’s weigh in, but I’m determined to get back in the saddle stronger willed than ever. I’ve read about the whoosh effect where you lose fat but water fills up the cells that were previously occupied by fat, causing your weight to stay the same. These articles explain it in quite a simple way: https://mysugarfreejourney.com/keto-questions-what-is-the-whoosh-effect/ and https://www.trustyspotter.com/blog/whoosh-effect. I’m certainly hoping that whatever it is I am going through has something to do with this whoosh effect, although it’s hard to believe since I have been trying really hard to lose weight since January and the scales have barely moved. Still, I feel I have no options, and the IF lifestyle is actually suiting me quite well, so I will continue, with adopting a close to keto like diet.